People usually just have this innate hatred of Monday’s. I am not one of those people. Monday is just another day of the week and my weeks run together. There is no beginning or end to anything. Time is continuous. So when I say I woke up feeling particularly sad, I am not going to blame Monday for it. I woke up feeling a little sad yesterday, too. It’s weird for me. I’m really not a sad person. I’m quiet and have been told that my face can be frozen in an unhappy way, but I have chronic bitch-face and it is not something that can be cured.
My daily cup of tea did not cheer me up. In fact, I wasn’t even able to finish it. It was strange, but my brain is making my body be a lazy jerk and I can’t pick myself up. I’ve been trying to figure it out. Nothing in my life is terrible at the moment. Fisher has actually been really good lately, he even apologized at dinner yesterday for everything he has done to me and my grandmother. My friends have been great. There hasn’t been too much fighting and if there were little spats they were fixed quickly. I’m probably going to be working at Best Buy soon which will be awesome because I will have something to do that doesn’t involve me sleeping all day. I have an amazing boyfriend who goes above and beyond anything I expect one person to do for another. He got me gas when I last went to go visit him. He really didn’t have to do that and I told him that. I pouted and everything, but he wanted to do it for me. Basically, there are a lot of things that are fantastically great about my life. I’m glad that things are slowly falling into place. Yet…something is wrong! Usually when I’m sad I have a reason. Reasons like:
- I just got kicked out of my house
- Fisher made us get rid of the cats
- I can’t see my boyfriend
- I’m broke from having a crap job and from helping my grandma pay bills
- My senior year classes are more expensive and I have no money
But I have no reason right now. I’m just sad. It’s difficult, too. I’m sad and I want to be left alone, but I also want someone to pay attention to me. Not actively pay attention to me, I guess; I just want someone to be around me and hug me every now and then when they take a break from working or playing games or something.
Anyways, I kind of hope I find a way to cheer up. My grandma and Fisher are taking me to go see the Batman movie today and going to the movies while you’re miserable kind of takes the fun out of things.